I was born in 1961 which makes me soon to be 57 years old. Most of my life I have struggled with what it means to just be me. Growing up I can remember wanting to be my older sister (yes you Ann, I know you are reading this). She was so cool, and being 7 years older than me, I really looked up to her. She was a cheerleader, had a bunch of friends, a really neat wardrobe, played the piano, was the star of high school plays, high honor student, and a really, really good person! During the late 70’s, I wanted to be Farrah Fawcett (I still wanted to be you too Ann 😘). I, like millions of others, feathered my hair and styled it into the “Farrah Fawcett” cut. The 80’s came along and I wanted to be the ladies of Dynasty. Ah the years of shoulder pads and mullets, may they never again rear their ugly heads!! Whatever the fad, just like a molting snake, I shed my old skin and in my new skin, I recreated myself and became it. Looking back I wonder if I ever felt comfortable just being me. This begs the question; did I let the decade, peer pressure, insecurities, dictate who I was? Was I being the authentic me, or constantly trying to mold myself into someone else? Who was I? Was I defined only by my clothing and hairstyle? It’s perfectly natural to follow trends; I believe we are all guilty of this at one time or another, but trends make up the superficial “us”. I am talking about me. What makes me, me, the inner me; the flesh and bone, the heart and spirit. I look at some women; when they enter a room you just know they are comfortable in their own skin, they “drip” confidence. Are these women model material, well I guess some are, but it doesn’t matter because it’s not about their physical appearance. They are comfortable in their own skin, comfortable being themselves, they carry themselves with poise and self-assurance, and that makes them simply stunning! They know who they are. About two years ago I started to explore me. It started with a conversation I had with my husband about wanting to take up photography. For my birthday that year he purchased me a beautiful Olympus camera, and I jumped right in! This began my love of photography. Saturday mornings found me, camera slung around my neck, exploring abandoned sites, hiking through the woods, driving miles and miles through country roads, photographing whatever caught my eye, and voila I started to feel like me! A year later I decided to become a certified yoga teacher, something I’ve always wanted to do. I studied and passed with high honors and received my certification. During that time I taught myself to crochet, and found a whole new love. I was on my way to becoming me! The moral of the story is that after 56 years, I’m finally starting to feel like me. I came to the realization that it’s not about the clothes I wear, it’s not about how I style my hair; it’s a feeling. It’s finding the things I love to do and doing them. It’s a passion for life and living, and using that passion to be true to myself. It’s knowing what makes me happy and fulfilled and embracing it. It’s a journey. A journey I have just begun. Do I think it’s too late to start this journey? Absolutely not! Every day we learn something about ourselves; every day is a new opportunity to explore, create, and discover.
I am convinced that now when I walk into a room I’m the one people are whispering about and they are saying “Now there’s a woman who knows who she is”.